A double creature feature seemed like a good idea just like ordering doubles in a bar in order to speed the route to a strafed night of bombed logic and mayhem. Double your pleasure, double your fun is closer to the official American rallying cry ("Do you want to super size that for 25 cents more?") than Home of the Brave or even Land of the Free. But like any project worth shouldering, you've got to make sure you have decent amount of materials to sustain you through over three hours of movie watching. Everything needed to be inventoried first before couching it. Two grams of sativa medical grade marijuana, check. Half a six pack of drinkable beer, check. Two quality vetted films, uh...I re-read the small synopses on the back of each envelope...it should be fine. Remember, that no amount of substance surplus can save you from a bad decision, even if it is just a bad movie. Sure, possessing the power to shut the movie off is always an option, but then what the hell am I going to write about? My marijuana-laced, deep thoughts? Starting with The Beats' works through the rambling of Wavves, that genre is crowded enough and, frankly, cashed out.

From the premise alone, Evil Bong had great potential. Three slacker dudes and one nerdy smart guy putting himself though grad school all live together. One of the slackers finds an antique bong for sale on the internet and buys it. Soon after the bong arrives, it begins to one-by-one off the inhabitants of the apartment. The bong turns out to be possessed. It is able to get the smoker so high they are mentally transported into the bong (think I Dream of Jeannie) which resembles a low-grade strip club strip akin to one you find around the outer perimeter of an airport. The bong is the MC in the club (It turns out to be a female. Feminists theorists would have a field day dissecting this movie.) and whoever is transported into it, they think it is heaven above. soon enough, they are attacked by one of the strippers and enslaved in the bong. The body of the smoker in the real world dies. This is my best take on how exactly the rules of plot development work. This is not Inception, but more like Nam with a general lack of any rules of engagement. The highlights of the movie are a trifecta of great cameos in the bong by Tim Thomerson, Bill Moseley, and Tommy Chong as the original owner who offers up some history to move the plot to its eventual end. If you are game for subpar acting and a plot which could have used a few more script drafts, go at it. It is probably as good (or bad) as anything you can go see in your local Multiplex.

Second up was a phantastic film called Psychomania (a.k.a. The Death Wheelers). The Living Dead are a co-ed motorcycle gang in England which gets its kicks smashing shit up, terrorizing the local villagers and hanging out in a field dotted with Stonehenge looking rock structures called The Seven Witches. The head of the gang goes home to visit his mother and her faithful butler, both who look like some Aleister Crowley interior decorators, which is not far from the mark as they are both up to supernatural meddling. Mom reveal a secret she has been keeping from their son for years. She died many years ago, but came back. It turns out, if you believe you can come back from the dead, well than, you can. Without a blink of doubt, our hero goes out and runs his motorcycle off a bridge into river. He dies, is buried and, in a fashion which would impress JC himself, rides back from the dead. This is probably the scene which makes the entire film worth watching so if you are not digging it, watch at least to this point. Back from the dead, he talks the rest of his gang into killing themselves. The benefits of dying and coming back range from not aging to being impervious to dying again. Of course, there is a way to die again, but I'm not going to play spoiler. Besides a fairly thin supernatural plot, there is some fancy motorcycle riding and the cafe racers the gang buzz around on are pretty impressive. The gang sports helmets emblazoned with a death head which is part cartoon, part menace and all awesome. The costumes set the bar for swinging biker 60s English cool. Psychomania is more fun than a night on the Ouija board or a pitcher of poisoned Kool Aid. Drink up!