A Poor First Date Choice - Bad Lieutenant

I don't think I am making too outrageous of a statement when I say that most Abel Ferrara films are not the sort of thing you take a lady to on a first date. When Bad Lieutenant came out, I had a friend's friend tell me how he took a girl he had just met to this movie. He was a big Harvey Keitel fan so he didn't see the problem. Well, let's just cut to the end here and mention that this turned out to be his first and final date with her. However, as she was crying afterwards, he did get to find out how her brother was a struggling drug addict and hear some incredibly painful family tales sobbingly retold as he drove her home. "So no handjob," he added at the story's end. I guess he would've had a better shot if he'd met her a few years later and taken her to see Se7en.

So my advice to you, if you do want to increase your chances of a handjob or second date, is to rent The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans. Werner Herzog moves the story to post-Katrina New Orleans and makes every shot sexy as hell. Throw in Eva Mendes & Nic Cage doing tons of blow, plus Xzibit as a drug dealer. So trade in that confrontational New York City NC-17 grittiness for a more panty dropping ilk. Nobody is going to get in the mood for romance with a naked, whimpering Keitel on your screen.